Saturday, June 18, 2011

2 a day and the Dr's office i go play...

well it has been a couple days since i updated but i have been kinda busy. So Tuesday i started the 2 shots a day, my lupron and now the gonal-f. i am somewhat excited about this cycle, i think its because we are trying something new with alittle more success rate than just BIO on our own. I happen to think the only downside is having to make the long drive to the Dr.'s office frequently. So i went today to see how everything is progressing and i had a couple follies on each side that were 6mm and 7mm and my blood results were good, my estrogen was 181 and i am on CD4. Nurse said alittle weird since my lining was alittle thin but we will recheck everything again on Monday. Now i go about every 3 days until the follies take off then i go everyday until they are ready.
so hmm what else?!  i got a package in from my NSA today and it was totally awesome she got me a yankee candle that just smells delish not to mention yankee candles are the best of the best in my opinion. i also got these cool rubber, flexible bowls that will work awesome when i bake (which is about every weekend), a ball for Chief (dog) which he hasnt put down since i gave it to him, a toy for Newne (cat) that she played with right when i gave it to her (that is unusal), some chocolate coverd pretzels that are almost gone, and some jasmine green tea that i cant wait to try out in the morning.
we went to a new chinese place tonight with my mom and her boyfriend and had some awesome food including sushi that was soo soo soo good, i even got my DH to try some which he loved. Now i am home nesting, typing this and drinking a glass of wine.
Oh yeah DH also got the job he wanted and he goes on Monday for all his paperwork and find out when he starts, only thing bad is we will no longer have IF coverage which totally sucks ass but hey he will be making more money and after talking to the nurse today it is about $4000 a IUI cycle for patients who dont have insurance so i think we can swing that for a couple months but then what? I just dont understand all these people out there that cant care for the kids they have but yet they keep popping them out like its nothing and say it so hard to prevent it from happening, or what about all the children in foster or adoption shelters? why is it so expensive to adopt them, to me the state would want them to leave asap so they dont have to pay for them anymore. i mean it is like giving your arm, leg, kidney and left eye for a child who at that time doesnt have a chance in life where he is now so why not make it easier for those who qualify and want a child to give them something they never had.... i know some may be reading this and saying wow i cant believe she said that but you know, the hell with you, i am so tired of all this infertility crap, i would make an awesome mom and beable to give my child alot more then some out there. I just dont understand it all and at times it gets so frustrating... so tom. i am sure will also be a crappy day, so my cousion who is also my neighbor is PG and its hard sometimes to deal with that, they already have a DD who is 12 and now they are having another LO who was the result of the first month off BCP (this erks me also) and they go for the sex u/s and hwe words to me were oh how did the dr. go so i told her and her response was well atleast you get to see my LO tom., we are going do the u/s and they give us a cd of it so you will get to watch when yall come over for supper (which is almost everynight we are all together). dont get me wrong i am super excited for her but it just hurts when she says stuff like that or complains about being PG i just look at her and say stop because you have no idea. I was never a bitter person but since i started this journey i became bitter and a total emotional mess. I just try not to think about everything, keep my head up and pray that something will work out for us once in our lives....

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